The other day I was on Fiverr (it’s like Etsy for businesses) looking for someone to help me with editing the background noise out of my podcast and somehow came across a gig titled ‘I Will Enable You To Use More Than Ten Percent Of Your Brain’. I’ll admit I was a bit intrigued, but also skeptical.
Clicking on it revealed a couple paragraphs about how most people only use less than 10% of their brain cells. Apparently through telepathy this person can unlock your brain so you can use the 90%. Does this actually work or is this a scam I wondered as I clicked on the reviews. There were many 5 stars, but everyone said that the treatment took about a month to work so they didn’t actually know if it had helped them yet. Many people left their email addresses to check in with them after a month if anyone wanted to.
Now let it be noted here I’m quite open to things we can’t really explain, but that isn’t the point here. What I’m trying to say is that as I found myself contemplating emailing some of these people I stopped myself. Is this how desperate I am? That I’m considering using telepathy from a person I randomly found on Fiverr to help me succeed? Yikes!
I know I hold myself back–listening to the excuses my brain comes up with as to why I can’t possibly do a video for my Facebook page today or whatever else I’m trying to accomplish. I call it my 90, 10 problem. I will complete a project 90% of the way without too much difficulty. However, when it comes to the last part–which is usually the easiest physically it becomes like hauling a whale out of the ocean with one finger.
I’ve been working on this since about a year and a half ago when I discovered this was my pattern. I’ve talked about, tried to get to the root as to why, just powered through and set strict deadlines but nothing has made the process any easier. Maybe out of desperation–I’m not sure I mentioned my dilemma to my therapist last week. “How do I haul the whale out more easily?” I pleaded, hoping she would actually give me an answer.
Now before I go any further please let me just clarify that I love animals and am certainly not implying anything negative about whales and think they should definitely be left alone. I use a lot of analogies and for whatever reason my brain linked my struggles to hauling a whale out of the ocean.
Anyway back to my therapist’s couch where she was suggesting that maybe I stop trying so hard and not fight myself through the process. It was true I got very frustrated with myself for not being able to just get whatever it was done. I wanted to argue that I didn’t think it would work, but this tactic had worked when she suggested it in the past so what did I have to lose?
Writing blog posts is one of the things I find difficult to do and definitely haul a whale each time I sit down to do it. So this time I took the therapist’s advice and didn’t fight myself through the process. I leaned into the feelings of nervousness and shame instead of stuffing them back down. And guess what? The words came and look at that–I finished the post 🙂